How to Change the Way You See the World

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a mental loop, convinced that the worst is about to happen, or that everyone around you is judging your every move? These are called unhelpful thinking habits, and they have a sneaky way of creeping into our lives and distorting reality. We all develop these habits over time, often without realising it, and they can shape the way we see ourselves and the world around us.

The good news is that once you recognise your unhelpful thinking styles, you can begin to challenge them and break free from their grip. Below, we’ll take a closer look at some common thinking habits and offer actionable steps to help you shift your mindset toward a more balanced, helpful perspective.

Mental filtering is when you focus solely on the negative aspects of a situation, completely ignoring anything positive. It’s like wearing “gloomy specs” that only let you see the bad stuff, while the good slips through unnoticed.

Real-Life Example: You’ve just finished a presentation at work. Instead of focusing on the positive feedback you received, you zero in on the one colleague who looked bored and convince yourself the whole thing was a disaster.

Actionable Step: Ask yourself, Am I filtering out the positives? Challenge this by listing three positive aspects of the situation, no matter how small. This helps break the habit of focusing solely on the negative.

Catastrophizing is when you imagine the worst possible outcome, convincing yourself that it’s inevitable. This thinking habit makes every situation feel like a potential disaster waiting to happen.

Real-Life Example: You’re running late to a meeting, and you immediately assume that your boss will be furious, you’ll get fired, and your career will be ruined—just because of a few minutes of tardiness.

Actionable Step: Ask yourself, What’s most likely to happen? Separate facts from your worst-case scenario and remind yourself that catastrophizing doesn’t solve the problem—it only adds stress.

Mind-reading happens when you assume you know what others are thinking, usually believing they’re judging you or thinking negatively about you.

Real-Life Example: You pass a co-worker in the hallway, and they don’t smile or say hello. Immediately, you assume they’re upset with you or don’t like you, even though there’s no actual evidence to support this.

Actionable Step: Ask yourself, What’s the evidence? Challenge the assumption that you know what others are thinking. Remind yourself that their behavior could be due to anything unrelated to you—they might just be having a bad day.

This habit involves using your emotions as evidence for how things really are. If you feel anxious, you assume there must be danger, or if you feel guilty, you must have done something wrong.

Real-Life Example: You feel nervous before a social event and immediately conclude that something bad will happen or that no one will like you, just because you feel anxious.

Actionable Step: Ask yourself, Just because I feel it, does that make it true? Acknowledge that emotions are temporary reactions to situations, but they don’t always reflect reality. Try to separate your feelings from the facts.

Black-and-white thinking makes you see things in extremes. Everything is either good or bad, success or failure, with no room for middle ground or shades of grey.

Real-Life Example: You get one piece of constructive criticism from your boss and immediately think, “I’m terrible at my job,” ignoring all the praise you’ve received in the past.

Actionable Step: Ask yourself, Where is this on the spectrum? Challenge the idea that situations or people have to be either perfect or disastrous. Life is full of nuance, and recognizing the middle ground will help you see things more realistically.

This thinking habit involves setting unrealistic expectations for yourself with statements like “I should be able to handle this” or “I must be perfect at all times.” It creates unnecessary pressure and can lead to feelings of failure when you don’t meet these impossible standards.

Real-Life Example: You have a busy day and don’t manage to complete everything on your to-do list. Instead of accepting it, you beat yourself up, thinking, “I should have finished everything.”

Actionable Step: Ask yourself, Am I putting too much pressure on myself? Replace the “shoulds” with “coulds” to create more flexibility. For example, “I could finish the list tomorrow.” This small shift relieves pressure and gives you room to breathe.

This habit involves comparing yourself to others and feeling like you fall short. You focus on others’ successes and ignore your own achievements, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

Real-Life Example: You scroll through social media, seeing friends with perfect-looking lives, and suddenly feel like you’ll never measure up.

Actionable Step: Ask yourself, Am I comparing myself to an unrealistic standard? Remember, social media is a highlight reel, not real life. Focus on your own journey and celebrate your wins, no matter how small.

Unhelpful thinking habits can trap us in cycles of negativity, stress, and self-doubt. But by recognizing these patterns, we can challenge them and begin to shift our perspective. It’s all about taking small, actionable steps to change how you think and ultimately, how you feel.

Remember, your thoughts are not facts—they’re just mental reflexes that can be re-trained. Start by identifying the unhelpful thinking habits that affect you most, and challenge them with these practical strategies. Over time, you’ll notice a shift in how you see yourself and the world around you, breaking the cycle of negativity and moving toward a more balanced, positive mindset.