Therapy Doesn't Work... Or Does It?
It is more like a fruit salad than a single apple
Let’s talk about the phrase we’ve all heard (or maybe even said): “Therapy doesn’t work.” It’s a common sentiment, usually fuelled by frustration, disappointment, or downright confusion. And honestly, it’s not hard to see why. Therapy is as diverse as the people seeking it, yet it’s often sold as a one-size-fits-all solution. Spoiler alert: it’s not.
The reality is, therapy is more like a fruit salad than a single apple. There are countless modalities, each offering a different flavour and benefit, depending on your needs. But how can you figure out which one is for you when even therapists sometimes struggle to keep track of all the options?
Let’s break it down. Whether you’re new to therapy or have been burned by past experiences, this guide will help you understand why therapy can work—and how to find your best fit.
Therapy Is Not One-Size-Fits-All
Imagine walking into a shoe store and being told, “Here’s one shoe. It’s perfect for everyone.” Ridiculous, right? Yet that’s often how therapy is approached. In truth, therapy is as individual as your fingerprint. What feels transformative for one person might feel like trying to eat soup with a fork for another.
Here’s a quick overview of some popular “fruits” in the therapy world:
Person-Centred Therapy
Think of this as the ultimate safe space. You’re in the driver’s seat, while the therapist offers empathy and unconditional positive regard. It’s like being handed a blank canvas and a box of paints—what you create is entirely up to you. It's a type of psychotherapy that focuses on the client's self-discovery and growth.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is all about action. It helps you identify and change negative thought patterns, offering practical tools to shift your mindset. Think of it as a mental gym—structured, goal-oriented, and great for folks who love a step-by-step approach. It is a type of psychotherapy that helps people manage problems by changing their thinking and behaviour.
Psychodynamic Therapy
Ready to dive into the deep end? Psychodynamic therapy explores your unconscious patterns and how they were shaped by your past. It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion, uncovering insights that influence your present. It is a therapy that works by exploring your past experiences and unconscious mind.
Somatic Therapy
When emotions are stuck in your body (thanks, trauma), somatic therapy helps you connect your mind and physical sensations. It’s about releasing stored tension, like hitting the “refresh” button on your nervous system. Somatic therapy explores how the body expresses deeply painful experiences, applying mind-body healing to aid with trauma recovery.
Gestalt Therapy
This modality focuses on the here and now, helping you build self-awareness by exploring your current thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s like zooming in on what’s happening in real time. Gestalt therapy focuses on the present moment and how it affects your thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. It looks at how your past affects you in the present, rather than how you felt in the past
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
If trauma’s your baggage, EMDR is your luggage handler. By using bilateral stimulation, it helps process difficult memories and clear the emotional weight tied to them.
And that’s just scratching the surface. The world of therapy is vast, which means there’s likely something out there that will resonate with you.
Integrative and Pluralistic Therapists
If reading through the therapy buffet feels overwhelming, here’s where integrative and pluralistic therapists come in. These pros don’t stick to just one modality—they tailor their approach based on your unique needs.
Integrative Therapists blend different modalities, creating a flexible approach that adapts to you. Need a mix of deep reflection and practical tools? They’ve got you covered.
Pluralistic Therapists take it a step further by actively collaborating with you to decide what approaches to use. It’s like building a custom therapy playlist together.
These therapists understand that humans are complex, and healing isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey.
Therapy in Crisis Mode
Here’s another misconception: therapy is often seen as a last resort. People wait until they’re in full-blown crisis mode before seeking help. While therapy is a powerful tool in hard times, it’s also a game-changer for personal growth, self-awareness, and maintaining emotional well-being.
Waiting for a meltdown to start therapy is like waiting for your car to break down before you get it serviced. Regular check-ins can prevent those crashes altogether.
What If Therapy “Didn’t Work” for You?
If you’ve tried therapy before and felt like it missed the mark, you’re not alone. But that doesn’t mean therapy as a whole doesn’t work—it might just mean you haven’t found the right fit yet.
Why Therapy Might Have Felt Off:
The Wrong Modality: Maybe you’re more action-oriented, but your therapist focused on deep emotional processing. Or vice versa.
Mismatch with Your Therapist: Like any relationship, the connection between you and your therapist matters. If it didn’t click, it’s okay to try someone else.
Unrealistic Expectations: Therapy isn’t a quick fix; it’s a process. Change takes time, patience, and consistent effort.
Making Therapy Work for You
So, how can you make therapy work? Here are some tips to set yourself up for success:
1. Do Your Research
Research different modalities and therapists. Many therapists offer free consultations—use these to ask questions and see if you vibe.
2. Be Honest About Your Needs
Tell your therapist what you’re looking for. Want actionable tools? Say so. Need a space to just talk and be heard? They’ll meet you where you are.
3. Stay Open
Healing isn’t linear. Some sessions might feel like breakthroughs; others might feel like you’re spinning your wheels. Trust the process.
4. Check In with Yourself
Ask yourself regularly: Is this working? Am I feeling supported? Therapy is your space—don’t be afraid to advocate for what you need.
Therapy Isn’t About “Fixing” You
Here’s the truth: You’re not broken. Therapy isn’t about turning you into someone else or “fixing” your flaws. It’s about helping you understand yourself better—your patterns, your needs, and your strengths—so you can show up in the world as your authentic self.
Whether it’s person-centered, CBT, EMDR, or a mix of modalities, there’s a form of therapy out there for you. And if you’re feeling stuck, integrative and pluralistic therapists are ready to meet you where you are and build something that works with you, not for you.
So, next time someone says, “Therapy doesn’t work,” remember this: therapy is like fruit. You just have to find the one that tastes right.